Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Disappointment

Disappointment is not an emotion I expected to feel today.

It's the last day of preschool for Kate, who moves on to Kindergarten next fall. While I think the whole 'graduation' from preschool thing is pretty goofy, there's no denying that it's a big milestone. And I was looking forward to seeing her stand up there with all her friends for one last time, singing songs and celebrating the end of her first school experience. Then there would be cake and cookies and lots of hugs for the teachers who've been part of her life for two years now. I expected to feel proud, excited, and maybe even a little wistful. But we're not having any of that.

Kate has strep throat.

Forget the celebration. We've got a sick little girl stuck on the couch watching cartoons and feeling horrible. The truth is, she doesn't seem to mind missing graduation much. I think to her it's just another weird event. For me, it's an ending that will never come again, the last time I'll have a preschooler. And instead of marking the moment with ceremony and photos, it's just sort of slipping away. So even though I do feel all those swirling emotions when I think about it, mostly I feel disappointed.

3 comments:

megalopoet said...

oh! so sorry to hear about the strep stripping a good time! i CANNNNNNNNN NOT believe you're in for the 18th hole, erm, round. sadistic, you are.

congrats on all your latest pubs (big score with poet lore!) and your stamina: you go, chica!

Maryanne Stahl said...

aw sorry to hear that Kate is sick and that you're missing this milestone.

I know how you feel, sort of, because my baby boy is getting his Masters Degree from Stanford tomorrow and I am not able to be there.

he's fine with it--not a big deal to him, his dad's there, I was at his college graduation a year ago and I'll get out there this summer.

so I guess in both cases the important thing is that both babies are doing perfectly well, even if their mamas are wistful.

Sharon Hurlbut said...

Nicole - Thanks. And, um, I kind of fell off the 30/30 wagon. But I'll climb back on again soon.

Maryanne - First of all, your son got his Master's in ONE YEAR?! Wow. And from Stanford, no less. I think mamas are always wistful when their kids take a big step, don't you? You must be incredibly proud, even if you couldn't be there. Congratulations to him (and you - see, mamas get credit, too)! Here's to a less wistful week...